Today's Action: Day 14 Results!

"I'm burning alive!!"
- Chris Farley, in Tommy Boy

Game 1:

Agent J (Jean/Jeremie) vs. No Time Toulouse (JParm 5000/Jance)

Things we learned today:

1. If you're betting on pill shots, always bet progressively.

Go double or nothing on every hit. Lots of money lost in the pits today due to shortsightedness. Also, it seems that nothing gets the crowd fired up as quickly as a pill shot. If the money's escalating, it'll drive people that much more nutty.

2. Never be the team that Will Elder-Groebe bet against.

Only the strongest of constitutions could withstand the aural assault of Will trying to tear your psyche apart. The guy paces around the court inches from the field of play, with no interest in hiding his favoritism. And why should he? There's money on the line. If Will offers you a bet, calculate whether you think your team can come back from a six point deficit, because I figure that's what his abuse is worth. No Time Toulouse was the unlucky squad to have to start this game in a hole.

3. Don't bet with Kane.

The guy is like Jimmy The Greek. I saw him loading cash into his wallet again today. Unreal. If you want to win, watch what Kane does, then find yourself a willing sucker to bet with and do the same thing. He's the anti-Will in terms of volume and presence, but no less savvy. He's retiring on this tournament. Even after this posting, he'll still find a willing chump tomorrow. Easily.

4. Don't fall too far behind Agent J.

This one seems obvious, but judging by the action today, maybe not. Tight game, right up until 9-10. After that, Toulouse dropped something like seven of the next eight points. Ouchie. The JParm 5000 must have had a cracked bushing or some damp wiring, because he just did not look sharp.

(Note: Why is it that almost every game is close until the scores get to ten, then one team invariably falls apart? Do players get tired? Do they hit the wall at ten? Is it a matter of conditioning? Mental toughness? It seems that I've written, "...the game was tight until blah-blah reached ten points..." about a hundred times. Can someone look into this, please?)

This one looked like the wheels were falling off, despite some outstanding play by both teams. Where was our epic battle?

5. Don't wait until Point to start your comeback.

Left for dead at 20-16, No Time Toulouse finally (finally!) picked it up. JParm 5000 winner. Jeremie miss. Jean miss. Jance winner. Jesus Xavier, could it be?? Were we headed to deuce? Dan C's head was ready to explode its brain meat all over Centre Court (he bet against Will). Was it possible that Agent J wasn't even going to get a lucky point and finish this thing off? Every comeback point was a new experience in chest implosion torture for Chris Geraghty, who sat next to me, clutching his chest, eyes shut tight against the pain. I could have sworn I heard him say, "Rosebud..." Jeremie served for possible deuce....

Agent J over No Time Toulouse
21-19

Agent J are the champions of the Loser's Bracket and will face Beaver Patrol in the Championship Pair. Sweet!