Rule

The roof is out. Any ball hitting the roof will stop play.

That is final. This is not Trick-Shot Championship Pool, people.

The Kirk Larkins Pill Count

Like the sun coming up in the morning and taxes being due on the 15th, Kirk Larkins will get hit in the crotch - or "pills," if you will - with many a ping-pong ball during the tournament. It's a given. He's a magnet for incoming slams. As a courtesy to fans and players, I'll be posting a running total throughout the duration of the event.

How high will it go this year? It's too early to speculate, but Chef Tony Lobay is writing a script to calculate it. It's gonna be huge.

Overheard At Pong

"I'm working on my 'Gibby.'"
- J Brown

"Aren't we all?"
- Joel

Hurry Back, Jess!

Special shout out to Jess Vickery and best wishes for his quick return to action. He cracked his head on the low doorway coming out of Clyde 3 today and required some First Aid. Speedy recovery, my friend.

Scouting

I'll be at Centre Court at break for the rest of the week, sizing up the competition in order to create the most competitive field possible. I'll be ranking all the players as either "A" or "B," then randomly picking one from each column to form a team. There may be a few tweaks after that, just to make sure that no team is too powerful, but that's the process. I've already written "liar" next to a few names on my master list of people who've rated themselves as a "B" when it's clearly not the case. I've got my eye on you folks in particular.

See you at break.

The Quotable PA

"This place looks like a Shaolin temple of ping-pong!"
- Stacz, walking through Centre Court during break